Wednesday, 27 July 2011

One Easter Night, NRI's, Friends and My self ''The Sex Racket King''!!!!

Alryt....Its been So long now to write some non sense over here....or in other other words precisely ''Sense'' as I had a lot of non sense thoughts which do shit right the middle of my brain. But every thing is cleared, those stinking shit (oops its still stinking..) has been flushed off and I even tried an air freshener over there...Oh k , lets stop this unwanted crap talk right now.. this time, I am using my lovely sexy blog (Yeh!! the I am the only asshole who name a lovely sexy blog as Broken words!!!!..I Know it sounds like calling an angel as hooker...but some times it sounds better!!!!!) just to describe how can you earn a title ''The Sex Racket King'' Just by Doing nothing.
From my latest Experience I actually changed the definition for NRI. its not Non resident Indian or non returning Indians, especially with the current generation over here, it can be defined as ''Not any Resemblance with Indians''. Oops I forget that Statutory warning title.

''This blog/story have and the characters have no resemblance with dead, alive or even about to born!!! I can say that even I am imaginary character over here. and for my Dad who is there in Facebook, you have nothing to do with this, stay away (also can be considered as health and safety measure) from this. If some one find any similarities with their life, then all I have to say is ''damn you assh*** as I already told that there is no resemblance''!!!!!

Back to NRI's. under no way we can classify the people who just came in or who are here with a purpose as NRI's. But it is those who came here to settle and precisely their Children. it is too easy too spot this NRI parents or kids. There are some particular characteristics. For identifying particular NRI parents it is so easy. Just watch the way husband and wife is walking. if the wife is walking at front with that head angled straight to the skies as if a proud elephant for our famous ''Thrissur pooram'' (A famous festival in south India) and if the husband is following her 2 steps backwards and head 45 degree downward angle as a lamb towards Butchers knife, then that is it, you can say you spotted a perfect ''NRI Couples''.

Next is to spot NRI kids. Again that is simple but a complicated process just like trying to identify, what a famous music artist it try to express by wearing real Bacon or covering her self in a bubble, or even sometimes just some spots over the censored body parts ( I wonder whether she want to express that she is sexy or a real dumb with out any sexy body definitions!!!). oh yeh, lets go back to NRI kids. For girls the first thing to spot is their hair, which will be definitely straighed but some other process make it easy to show off they are NRI's. All most all the times one side of the face will entirely covered. when I reached in this country for the first time I even wondered why all the Indian girls have a scratch one their face that they are trying their best to cover it. The next thing is no matter if she is glamorous or if you will just run straight to Heathrow to catch the next flight on seeing that 'Scary' beauty queen, wait a minute and watch, they will exposing. Especially on the top! I think this people got a belief that if some one want to look at them, then they really want to Expose that OOPS!!!...but believe me sometime it will really make you feel that ''YUCK...What the F...was that a stinking open drainage pit!!!''. Alryt the next special characteristics is the way they talk. it won't be perfect English or perfect local language, but a unmatched mixture of both. I can't express how it sounds like, but I think it tastes like having a pastry in hot spicy fish curry, or spraying one million on your hands after cleaning up yourself ''from that'' in the morning. There are some accessories as well like nodding their head on both direction at regular intervals for nothing, (especially if some hot boys are nearby) then hugging each other at regular intervals even if they met for the first time ( I thought there was a bit of Lesbianism there, which has been ignored later on!!). Leave the Girls an lets chase boys.

To Spot a typical NRI boy, tats so easy. Just watch their face and it will be like they were feeding on 'weed' ever since from their birth. head positioned slightly downwards (oh, chances of hereditary syndrome). The next thing, you will feel a difficulty in breathing if you go too closer since they believe in maximum utilisation of energy policy and tends to hold the maximum oxygen from the surrounding and will stare on you at regular intervals as if you are there to steal that stinking oxygen from them. Then the way they walk. That is the main criteria to classify NRI boys. its easy as you can try yourself that at home with all the safety measures (Hazard warning : Author is not responsible for any damage on that part when trying to do this). Take a brick and keep it right in the middle of your thighs and just walk....''Yeh man!!, you are now walking like a perfect NRI boy.

The last but not least, the common characteristics of this boys and girls are they are in love the phrase ''ainne'' (commonly used for ain't it especially by the low class British which you can't hear from Sky news or BBC). They tends to fix this ''ainne' where and whenever as if don't wonder even if they tell you, ''LOOK OVA THERE, THA MAN, THA MAN IS MY DAD ''AINNE''!!!!!. (Please don't tell them anything as it may hurt their personal feelings. just say, ''yes bro, there are chances, but definitely he's not mine as I got ''only one'' back home.!!)